Why Your New Year Resolutions are destined to fail?
It has become popular for people to make fun of New Year’s resolutions in an almost jovial way but few people understand why these resolutions don’t work. What can you do to help yourself?
“Life is not a Nintendo game. You just can’t start all over again.” This was one of the advice I have heard related to making brand new resolutions. It’s not just children or adolescents, anyone of us who loves to play video games knows how wonderful it feels to restart and correct your mistakes instantly. The wish to push the restart button similarly in life ranges all the way from minor regret from an action a minute earlier to the long term dangerous repeated suicidal ideations. Let’s admit it. This can happen to the best of us. Life does give a second chance but not in the way most of us wish it to be. The results of our wrong actions may not completely vanish yet the beauty of life allows us to start a new beginning at any time. There is nothing wrong with making new year resolutions but if you have been waiting for a long time just to make a perfect start on January 1st, you might as well mark your next perfect date in the calendar.
“You are changed. You aren’t the person you used to be any more”. This is the random conversation all around the globe used in its most negative sense possible. No relationship advice here! Change and growth in life are what keeps us alive. One of the best thing you could do to be more successful in life in any sector continually keeps changing yourself for the better. Fortunately, on the other hand, many people want to change as well be it their work ethics, their behavior, or their relationships. The greatest obstacle that any of you would face in making any change are two factors. The first one the deadliest question “Why should I change NOW?” and second the inability to forgive yourself and get over your regrets. I discovered the way to view life with one of the best perspectives early.
“Everything happens for a reason”. That’s very good advice we all have been listening since childhood but somehow incomplete. So, what is the complete version? I have got it my way: “Whatever happens either happens good or happens for good; sooner or later it will manifest provided you have done your best”. This one simple strategy if honestly and sincerely followed is guaranteed to relieve a lot of pain, stress, and energy. This is true especially for the stuff you have no control over in life. Nathaniel Branden, the author of the masterpiece “The Six Pillars of Self Esteem” has pointed out this virtue to be one of the pillars of self-esteem: Improve what you can and learn to accept what you can’t. There is another side of the story as well: What if I haven’t done my best? Forgive yourself. The answer is as simple as that. Kelly McGonigal, author of the book “The Willpower Instinct” states that forgiveness and not guilt is what it requires to break the what-the-hell effect (the feeling that we have messed everything and can continue to indulge in bad behavior to the fullest and start all over again). Kelly explained this splendidly- “One of the main reason forgiveness helps people recover from mistakes is that it takes away the shame and pain of thinking about what happened.” Yet on countless occasions, we spend our time and energy worrying about the past we can do nothing about missing the glory of the future in which the present moment spend on dwelling on past will be past again. This is more like a vicious cycle of addiction and the cure is just as simple as to do best from your side and self-conscience and leave God the rest.
Once you have gone over your past mistakes you should now always strive to do your best because deep down you realize that whenever you don’t do your best at some point in future you have to forgive all those wrong actions to move on further. If you are really committed to change you never need a perfect time to start. A quote by Karen Lamb seems much significant here:
“A year from now you will wish you had started today”
On a concluding note, after so much against your new year resolutions, I wish each one of you a marvelous New Year 2017. May you have countless ‘New Year moments’ to start for the better this year so you continue to inspire and contribute to mankind. But obviously, those changes would not be easy as they were never meant to be. This is not to dishearten you but to make sure you are prepared for the battle coming up. Always remember life was never meant to be easy, it was always meant to be worthy and tough and toughness is a choice.
Originally published at www.iuemag.com.